"Ask and It Shall be Answered" segments feature interviews with real people, sharing how they feel about controversial topics that pertain to G.O.G.'s.
This Segment's Controversial Topic: Fashion...Is it too "Worldly" a topic for the Church?
We sat down with our guest, a 22 year old interior designer and fabulous G.O.G. for some real talk. Lita is a graduate of The New England Institute of Art, where she majored in Interior Design, and is currently working on expanding her portfolio to work for a commercial firm which will lead to her own residential interior designing firm.
G: Hey Lita, thanks for sitting down with us.
Lita: No Problem, I'm thankful I can contribute to this, and I think it's fun! (Laughs)
G: Okay, to start this off let me ask you, do you think Christian girls and women should be concerned with their physical appearance?
Lita: Well, I personally do. For myself, when I go out I know I like to look my best. I mean, I feel that we are representing God. We're supposed to take care of ourselves, our appearance. I know that God looks at the heart, but He doesn't want us looking any ol' way (laughs). I know I like to get my hair done, my nails done and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You're not supposed to focus on it solely, but I believe that since we're representing someone amazing, royal, our Father, Yes! We should try to look classy and put together because we are representing Him.
G: Cool. Now, as a Christian Girl, do you use your style, your clothing to show or express anything in particular about yourself?
Lita: As a Christian girl, do I think my clothes represent me well? Or do I wear clothes to share things about myself, is that the question?
G: Yep. Do you use your style for a purpose?
Lita: I feel like, everyday is different, I change my look a lot. But I find that with the career I want to be in that I am more into the conservative look. I kinda find myself loving business suits a lot, you know, the skirts with the vests, and you know you have the hair with the curls; and I into the fancy glasses. I'm into all of that. I love jewelry too. So, yea, I feel like I want people to look at me and say "I can respect this person, she carries herself well." You know, I want a look that says "she's classy!" That's what I use my clothes to project about myself, you know, I want to be professional.
G: Great, who doesn't aspire for that look?! FaBeauty feels that even if you're not into the conservative, business, Tracy Ellis Ross-from-the show-Girlfriends look, that a G.O.G. should always want to look like a woman to be respected.
So, when do you feel most confident and is there anything that you personally struggle with or have challenges with when it comes to your faith and your physical appearance?
Lita: Well, for me, I feel most confident when I'm dressed professionally. You know, when I have my glasses and my heels on, and a little make-up. When my hair is done and my nails. It's like, when I walk in heels I feel like I own a business! (Laughs) I feel taller, something about heels really boosts my confidence!
But I do have to say that I struggle with figuring out what is appropriate to wear in public sometimes. Once, at a girls night out get-together, I wore a black dress with black stockings and I was kind of uncomfortable because I was thinking throughout the night, is this too short? Is this Christ-like? I was worried about what the other Christians would think about me! I had my boots on... I was thinking, is this worldly? I was actually just coming back from Boston, and you know I wasn't trying to fit in with the Boston scene, or whatever, I just like that look. Do you know what I mean?
G: Right, of course.
Lita: I'm into the classic trench coats, and clean-cut skirts, I just like that look. But, I mean, I was wondering should I be showing my knees in this dress! (Laughs), you know...I struggle with that. And I was thinking, is this supposed to be a shirt with pants, or a dress? You know...I think about all these things. In the summer time, I think what is showing too much? When it gets hot, I like to wear spaghetti straps but it gets uncomfortable sometimes, especially at fellowship gatherings. You know, I think my back is out, my arms are out. Is this okay? I think about all these things, and I haven't found the answer yet?! (Laughs).
G: Girl, you are definitely not alone!
Okay, so when we talk about fashion and clothes and external beauty, the Church can sometimes look at it as a "worldly" issue to be kept separate from spiritual matters. You know, they kind of say, well, all that matters is internal beauty and it's almost as if addressing issues pertaining to outward appearance is shallow and not Christ-like? Do you agree with this perspective?
Lita: Wow. Well, I don't think it's "worldly". It becomes that when you are only focused on your looks, instead of being focused primarily on God. The scripture does talk about not worrying about your clothes, and your life and all of that, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't want us to take care of ourselves. I mean, there are so many different styles out there and for some clothes, you know if you put em' on, your going to end up showing some type of body part! (Laughs). But, making an effort to put your best foot forward is not sin. I don't care if you only have one dress and one pair of shoes, wear it to the glory of God. You know, the Bible says that our bodies are the temples of Christ, so we are a representation of Him. We are rich, we are blessed and we are giving glory to God when we take these matters into concern!
G: So do you think clothing and style, should be discussed separately from faith and your spiritual life?
Lita: I believe it all ties in together. I mean, honestly we all have questioned certain things; and even though we are not supposed to judge, we should use discretion. If I'm supposed to be a Christian, yet I'm coming into the sanctuary with a skirt on that when I sit down it will show what it shouldn't be showing, you will question that. We should be questioning things like this. I know that some girls would say "I don't care what people think, I am a Christian and God knows my heart" but you should care because you're still representing God and some things do have to change. I believe it all kind of connects together in your walk. Ya Know? I know that God does not want us to focus on it, but if you pray to God to help you, He will. Sometimes I pray, God help me with what to wear to work and stuff, because I know that He is honored when you invite Him into things we may consider to be small.
G: Cool, we understand what you mean. So, what is one thing that you would like to see more of in the media concerning women and fashion?
Lita: Hmm....I would like to see more professional looks, affordable pieces that still look like quality items. Ages 20-26, I would like to see more examples of women in this phase of their life. Another thing I would like to see is consistency! I know sometimes I get my ideas from Gabriel Union because I like her style, but sometimes she and other celebrities in the media get kind out-there with their clothes, and inappropriate. They go back and forth all the time. It's tough because I even question some Gospel music stars and their clothing choices and style, and I'm like okay, I can't wear that. So, I would like to see more women who are consistently setting an example for us by not showing too much and by looking young and still respectable. I mean I like Mary Mary and those women, and I do look at them and admire their style, but some things I still may not like so much for myself.
G: Okay, whether we agree or not, you have given us some great things to think about. Thank you for sharing with FaBeauty and we know that you have addressed some issues that most of us have faced. Our last question is what is one thing you would like all Girls of God to know about body image and the times that we're living in today?
Lita: Well, like I said, when we look at all these R&B videos, they're all about sex and they portray women as these objects that you know....are pretty much sex toys for guys. And their purpose is to get the guys aroused. And I'm saying all these things because I am being honest .
G: Right, we love honesty.
Lita: We are not that. We are children of God. And that's not what He wants us to go for, He wants all the glory. If we are serious about God, and if we're truly seeking Him and are serious about being about God's business, this walk won't be easy. Because This is so real; it's a serious walk and the things that you're gonna have to give up won't be easy. But if you keep on seeking God and trusting Him, it will all work out, you know? God is not going to leave you. Like I said, this walk is not easy and we are not going to stop going through stuff. But He's always there, but it's our choice to be obedient.
I know that I am a young girl, but I want to be taken seriously. And we need to represent ourselves. For me, I don't want to hear "Oh shorty wassup, can I get that number, can I holla at you" type of thing. Like, I don't want to be treated like that. And the "oh wow, she gotta big booty" No! I want you to respect me when you see me.
G: (Laughs) Yes, true.
Lita: I've seen girls dressed in any ol' way and it looks terrible, to be honest with you. It's like, don't dress like that to please people. You need to please God. You know? As I girl I would say, don't put yourself out there. There's a lot of girls, even in the Church who complicate things simply because of how they represent themselves. I mean, I know it's not a one-sided issue, but at the same time, it's the way you carry yourself as a girl too. You have to show that you're not easy. Guys know when you're not easy and they know when they need to respect you based on how you carry yourself. If you're going dress like your easy, they're not going to treat you with respect. Yes, it comes from how you speak and a few other things, but the first image they see is what you look like on the outside. When guys see me on the street, you're going to know, without me even saying a word, that you I am to be respected. You won't even feel comfortable talking to me the way that you may talk to other girls. We are supposed to be set apart. I want guys to look at me and know that I am set apart. That's my advice based on what I've seen.
G: Thanks so much, girl!
Lita: No problem. This was fun actually, it's good to talk about these things and be honest and be real! I'm glad that FaBeauty can be a place to address these things, because we need it. This is a great vision, and I hope we can talk a lot more about these things in the future!
~End
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xoxo,
G.I.F.T
