What a topic! After a series of serious convos about this, I've been suggested to share our findings. So, here goes :)
VS. 
The "Interested" The "Purposed"
I've learned there is such a big difference between individuals who claim to be "interested" in you, or what you are doing in your life, and those who truly love and care for you. I call it the difference between the "Interested" and the "Purposed". To be able to decipher between the two will save quite a bit of confusion, misplaced investment of energy, and may even prevent us from developing unrealistic expectations of others.
So, one of the people in my life who loves me the most is my dad. Quite frankly, (and sometimes annoyingly), my dad could care less about at least 1/3 of the variety of things that interest me. And trust me, there is quite a variety :) But my dad, as disinterested as he may be at times in the nitty gritty details of how I plan to change the world into a loving and beautiful place with an abundance of butterflies and rainbows *insert sarcasm here*, I'm convinced he would, and has done everything in his power to make sure that I have the ability, resources and anything else that I need to purse those interests. Yes, as wacky or unfamiliar as my interests may seem to him at times, he has made countless sacrifices just to make sure that I'd have the opportunity to pursue them. My dad doesn't sit down with me over coffee to talk about the harmony of fashionable identities and God, he doesn't really want to know the finite details of how I feel every morning when I wake up, he just wants to know that I'm OK, and that I will achieve that which I choose to pursue. In other words, my dad is impartial. The only thing he prides himself on me knowing about him, is that he loves me. This, I've come to realize is what one should look for when trying to decide who will be the best to come along on the journey to your destiny and dreams.
It's important to be able to decipher between the [albeit] uninterested family, friends, loved ones who will still be there despite their utter boredom regarding your affairs, and those who are merely "interested" in who you are. I've realized that the people who professes or show interest in who you are do so mostly out of curiosity. Yep, they're interested in things going on in your life in great detail---They want to know when, where, how, and what drives you, and they do this because, frankly, there just may be something about you that they admire, or something in you that peaks their curiosity. They usually want to see how you make it through difficult times, why you dress, talk, behave the way you do. They enjoy hanging out with you, gleaning from your thoughts or perspective, they just like you a lot--- for now.
So, what's so bad about having an abundance of curious people in your life, you say? Well, the problem is curious people are ephemeral, they're time is limited. They gravitate to you not because they earnestly desire to see you reach your goals and beyond, nope. They are simply curious, which in turn develops into this interest. But the bigger problem is, once that curious thirst is quenched, or once they've determined you're not the most interesting thing around anymore, or maybe even that they don't really like you so much anymore, their interest subsides and so does their presence. So, if we're looking for people who will be with you in the gym when no one else knows you, as well as at the victory games, curious people are not going to be it. Your help in times of need won't come from people who are merely interested in you, it will come from people who just love you for who you are and want to see you become all you were meant to be. But more importantly, your help will come from the people who are willing to make sacrifices for you when you need it, and love you unconditionally. After-all, real love is sacrificial, as demonstrated by Christ for his church.
You see, this is tough because curious people are very glamorous at times. They look good on the exterior. They satisfy our desires to divulge and share the intricacies of things that make us passionate, or ideas that drive us. They often take more time than the ones who really love you, to listen to your gripes or complaints, and they may even offer useful advice or resources to you. But once their interest in you disappears, so do they, and very naturally so. Why? Because they love who you appear to be, what you look like, or what you are trying to accomplish. Even though they'll root for you at the game, they won't run with you in the gym.
There will always be people who will demonstrate interest in you: your talent, your goals, your life in general. But these people come and go. Some even have personal agendas, while others may simply want an inside view of what makes you 'You'. This is okay, but to get where you're headed, you'll need more than this. You'll need the dad, sister, friend, mentor, boyfriend or hubby that falls asleep as you tell him about your plans to make-over the world, but will fight till the end to give you the tools and emotional support you need to do it.
It is a great life skill to differentiate between the "interested" and the "purposed". which leads to disappointment or maybe even worse consequences. And in fact, the bigger your dreams are, the more curious people you'll have!
It's also worthy to note that the "Interested and the "Purposed" may overlap at times (as with Jesus and Judas). But that's another blog entry within itself. Please feel free to hit up the comments section with any further discussions, and maybe there will be a Part II :)
Lotsa' Love,
P.
VS. The "Interested" The "Purposed"
I've learned there is such a big difference between individuals who claim to be "interested" in you, or what you are doing in your life, and those who truly love and care for you. I call it the difference between the "Interested" and the "Purposed". To be able to decipher between the two will save quite a bit of confusion, misplaced investment of energy, and may even prevent us from developing unrealistic expectations of others.
So, one of the people in my life who loves me the most is my dad. Quite frankly, (and sometimes annoyingly), my dad could care less about at least 1/3 of the variety of things that interest me. And trust me, there is quite a variety :) But my dad, as disinterested as he may be at times in the nitty gritty details of how I plan to change the world into a loving and beautiful place with an abundance of butterflies and rainbows *insert sarcasm here*, I'm convinced he would, and has done everything in his power to make sure that I have the ability, resources and anything else that I need to purse those interests. Yes, as wacky or unfamiliar as my interests may seem to him at times, he has made countless sacrifices just to make sure that I'd have the opportunity to pursue them. My dad doesn't sit down with me over coffee to talk about the harmony of fashionable identities and God, he doesn't really want to know the finite details of how I feel every morning when I wake up, he just wants to know that I'm OK, and that I will achieve that which I choose to pursue. In other words, my dad is impartial. The only thing he prides himself on me knowing about him, is that he loves me. This, I've come to realize is what one should look for when trying to decide who will be the best to come along on the journey to your destiny and dreams.
It's important to be able to decipher between the [albeit] uninterested family, friends, loved ones who will still be there despite their utter boredom regarding your affairs, and those who are merely "interested" in who you are. I've realized that the people who professes or show interest in who you are do so mostly out of curiosity. Yep, they're interested in things going on in your life in great detail---They want to know when, where, how, and what drives you, and they do this because, frankly, there just may be something about you that they admire, or something in you that peaks their curiosity. They usually want to see how you make it through difficult times, why you dress, talk, behave the way you do. They enjoy hanging out with you, gleaning from your thoughts or perspective, they just like you a lot--- for now.
So, what's so bad about having an abundance of curious people in your life, you say? Well, the problem is curious people are ephemeral, they're time is limited. They gravitate to you not because they earnestly desire to see you reach your goals and beyond, nope. They are simply curious, which in turn develops into this interest. But the bigger problem is, once that curious thirst is quenched, or once they've determined you're not the most interesting thing around anymore, or maybe even that they don't really like you so much anymore, their interest subsides and so does their presence. So, if we're looking for people who will be with you in the gym when no one else knows you, as well as at the victory games, curious people are not going to be it. Your help in times of need won't come from people who are merely interested in you, it will come from people who just love you for who you are and want to see you become all you were meant to be. But more importantly, your help will come from the people who are willing to make sacrifices for you when you need it, and love you unconditionally. After-all, real love is sacrificial, as demonstrated by Christ for his church.
You see, this is tough because curious people are very glamorous at times. They look good on the exterior. They satisfy our desires to divulge and share the intricacies of things that make us passionate, or ideas that drive us. They often take more time than the ones who really love you, to listen to your gripes or complaints, and they may even offer useful advice or resources to you. But once their interest in you disappears, so do they, and very naturally so. Why? Because they love who you appear to be, what you look like, or what you are trying to accomplish. Even though they'll root for you at the game, they won't run with you in the gym.
There will always be people who will demonstrate interest in you: your talent, your goals, your life in general. But these people come and go. Some even have personal agendas, while others may simply want an inside view of what makes you 'You'. This is okay, but to get where you're headed, you'll need more than this. You'll need the dad, sister, friend, mentor, boyfriend or hubby that falls asleep as you tell him about your plans to make-over the world, but will fight till the end to give you the tools and emotional support you need to do it.
It is a great life skill to differentiate between the "interested" and the "purposed". which leads to disappointment or maybe even worse consequences. And in fact, the bigger your dreams are, the more curious people you'll have!
It's also worthy to note that the "Interested and the "Purposed" may overlap at times (as with Jesus and Judas). But that's another blog entry within itself. Please feel free to hit up the comments section with any further discussions, and maybe there will be a Part II :)
Lotsa' Love,
P.
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